Why the hell is everything like this? Why the fuck can't people just understand me? Even you.


So what if I am wilful? So what if I am being such a bitch to you? You don't care either right? You would just ignore me like you always do.


Just like how insignificant today can be seen to you -- You don't even fucking remember. Soccer always come first until... I show displeasure and ask you to go ahead and you started feeling guilty.

I don't know why this is all back to haunt me.
Why did the tears and heartbreaks come back?
Did I do any wrong?
Ignoring me or acting like you didnt care - it hurts a lot.
Alot Alot.



Sometimes I feel that some other things
Are more important than me
To you



Maybe it's just you being you
And me being me
But if we're worlds' apart
Why would fate bring us together again?



You're like candyfloss
wrapping me with sweetness and happiness
But I hate it when you're like berlin wall
blocking me far far away from you



You don't know how much tears I'd shed
You don't know how much it hurts my heart
Which bled
Enough to flow a river



Please stop all these
Before all's left is a hollow shell
All feelings gone
And dead.



How I wish all these
Will come to an end soon
For I want back
The smiles I once had

*****************************************************

How would you like when your boyfriend says his dad is going to fetch him, the bus stop is god damnit so far away (I don't know why it's not near the library cos the library is supposed to be the main attraction anyway) at least for my heels to carry me, it was drizzling slightly and you have to drag yourself to the "near by" bus stop to wait for a bus to go home?

The boyfriend expressed unwillingness towards ferrying you along cos his dad doesn't know you yet and it is not along the way. You suggested drop off at some more convenient mrt instead but were rejected again. Worse thing is, he can even fetch his friend all the way to his house and not me! And they drove off right in front of my eyes.

Don't ask me why the boyfriend's dad doesn't know you yet. I have no idea. Ask the boyfriend.

And your legs hurt like fuck. You just feel like killing yourself over and over again.

Sigh. I shouldn't blame him. For I may do the same too. Perhaps it's due to having a bad feet day.

I am so fucking pissed.

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Why is it that for every moment of happiness, there will be ten moments of sadness?


.........


When everything's fun and we're joking around, you said your friends say we are compatible but when we quarrel, you said we had too much difference among us and we are not compatible. You have any idea how it hurts. Do you? :(



I don't think I am a demanding girl.



I don't demand you to pay for my purchases. I don't demand you to help me take my bag when we are out but the small things that I demand like, helping me ask the lady over is demanding? Things like accompanying me after work for a short trip around parkway is demanding?



It IS so demanding that you had to play a game with me with forfeit I've to face if I lose and I'm just lucky that I won so that you have no choice but to accompany me to that particular place?



I know you don't like my photoshoots... You don't like me talking that much with photographers either... But what can I do? I'm just trying to earn as much as I can so that I can afford to pay everything myself. Yes, includes my food and transport and everything and I don't even get a single cent from my parents. Not even when this is my first month at work. I ain't born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I doubt my parents have enough money to pay for my university fees too. So why can't you just understand?...


:(



Just because you got parents that can fetch you after work and so forth, you have to panic and rush everyone out of the office so as to cater to your time, knowing fully well that I don't like to be left behind. Which boyfriend will leave their girlfriend without informing them either? Would YOU fancy that?



:(



You said that my inbox contains too much of other guys' sms (mostly photographers to settle time and venue) but.... how long had you sms me those sweet nothings? Think about that yourself. You may think you're the best boyfriend anyone can have but do you really think so?



You opt over playing psp with your friends and totally ignoring me even though I am right in front of you talking to you. You get angry when I tried to distract you out of the game. Sooo.. what am I to you? Nothing less than a game?



Having said that, I totally appreciate the stuffs you did for me - like bringing the umbrella over when I texted you and getting drenched in the storm instead.



I would have been delighted... But not after you left with your friend first cos I said I'll wait for the rain to stop. Can't you just wait with me? What's the rush?



Sigh.. you have no idea how I felt....



I felt so alone standing by under the block waiting for the others to come. I didn't get any reply from you and I thought you won't be coming... Not until a kind lady phoned her fellow librarian friend to bring umbrellas for us that you turned up.



:(



And now, you're even getting angry at me for not keeping the laptop into the bag when I didn't know anything about it.



Fine, all's my fault. I am a lousy girlfriend.

*****************************************************

You say it best, when you say nothing at all?

Bullshit.

Today you left without a word to say. I feel ultimately demoralised. Even my friends knows that you had left before I did - which is way hours later. You've won. I cannot beat you in being demanding and wanting my own way. I need constant love but I ain"t feeling that from you.

*****************************************************